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Sunday, February 5th, 2012
10:56 pm
When he's sober I adore him, he is amazing, but when he drinks I wish I had never met him.

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Sunday, November 13th, 2011
3:37 pm
How Asinine. People still continue to behave the way they did in high school, ten, twenty years down the track. Bagging each-other, making shit up, I would really hope that all of this was left behind.
I don't know where this shit has come from, I have not said that. I wouldn't dream of it. But someone has twisted my words into some pretty horrific shit and I'm not impressed. I thought my workplace wasn't like this.
But I'll head in tomorrow, put on a brave face and get through it. Again. Fucking office politics.

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Saturday, July 2nd, 2011
9:57 pm
I remember when I went to see Marley and me at the movies, and it came to the end of the movie and of course I cried. But what really facinated me was that when I went to the bathroom afterwards it was packed with all these crying girls. I think anyone who has ever owned a dog and has ever been through their deaths, especially putting them down would be in tears.

Brings back all my memories of the pets I've lost, I'm going to go hug my cats.

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Sunday, June 26th, 2011
11:19 am - And how much everything can change in a week?
So our landlord is selling the house.
Apparently Matt told me about this while I was away, since they mentioned it during the inspection, but all I heard about the inspection was "it's all good, I'm totally awesome, we only had some mold growing in two rooms and I cleaned it with the landlord while he was here. I told you, I'm totally awesome". le sigh.
This leaves me to find out about it around ten days ago, whne Matt received a call from the selling agent telling us she'd like to come over for a chat. So she comes, tells us the home owner is looking to sell, and that she'll do her best to sell to an investor who will keep us on as tenats, blah blah blah. photos on Tuesday, blah blah. So we had a weekend to tidy the house and did it all Monday night. Took some incedibly photoshopped photos, but hey! who wants to see what my house looks like?
Please note how green and complete our law is? it isn't. Everything has been photoshopped to death, and I have to say, the house they're advertising online is possibly worth what they're asking for.
But that's not really the house. I have never seen so many euphemisms.
We have rising damp, which you can't see because our furniture is covering it, those beautiful birds get a hold of netball whistles ALL SATURDAY (if we're lucky, long weekend filled with toots and screams? you betcha). Kids use the park across the street to ride loud dirtbikes. and don't get me started on the neighbours. There is nowhere the keep that dog that you can walk since there's no fence. I'm betting there's a reason those hardwood floors are entirely covered by old carpet. IT is near inpossible to keep this house warm in winter. Safe and friendly neighbourhood? I have seen cars with their windows smashed in on the otherside of this block. where is this mythical third bedroom? it's a rumpus if you're lucky.
Ultimately, if the owner did it up, changed the carpets, got some nice curtains (those are our curtains, and they're coming with us.) Changed all the door fixtures that some twit painted over, and replaced most of the taps, this place could go for that price.
But what gets me, that ad is aimed for people with families, owner occupiers, not the investment buyers she said she'd try to sell to.
Not one mention that the house has tenants that are willing to stay on. (We did say we would, thought we centainly won't be now).
The layout of this house is not v. family friendly, young couples yes but that price is out of young couple range, and even then it's quite quirky.
But I'll continue, I've had enough of being rageful, we had the initial inspection yesterday, and had 16 lots of people come though. I can't imagine many of them were impressed after seeing that lovely ad and then seeing this crud heap. We were effectively kicked out for the inspection, so we bundled up Mischa in her cage and watched from the park across the street, and as time ran out, I watched and swore at the people who kept turning up late and being let in. 15 MINUTES PEOPLE!

So we're moving out ASAP. At the price they're trying to get I'm rather sure the house will malinger on the market for a few months yet, people can research and find that this house sold for just as much three years ago when it was much more of a sellers market, and the house has only gone downhill from there. So two fingers to the lying real estate agent, we're going to give our notice, citing your lying as the reason we're leaving and taking with us all the rent you could have made while selling this place. No one wants to rent a house that has a for sale sign out the front now do they? Bet the landlord will just love that.

But that leaves us house hunting.
And Matt has come up with the idea of moving back into his mother's house (to housesit, as a favour) while she goes around Australia for the next three months.
One huge pro of extra money, enough money to pay off a sizeable chunk of my debts. But lots of little cons that can be summed up in one sentence. David will still be living there.
Matt tried to have me convinced in a matter of hours too, we were going to hand in our notice yesterdsay but I flipped at him because he was making me decide too quickly, I mean hell, 10 days ago I didn't even know we had to move, and I know you often have to get on with it rather fast in this type of situation ... but I'm in a little bit of shock. To have the rug pulled out from under me in two massive ways in one week.
Ultimately I think we will go and do it, the money is just too big a drawcard. It's only for three months, and even then if I decide I've had enough we can go house hunting at any time.
I've asked that I can use the ensuite bathroom while Mandy's gone.. like hell I'm sharing a bathroom with David ever again.
It's only three months, it's only three months, it's only three months.

So after I told Matt that he's rushing me and I really can't make up my mind that quickly he took me out shopping. Buttering me up, finally bought me a present for all the occasions he's missed. and we both replaced our phones, my little hiptop finally bit the dust, the screen wouldn't come up half the time and I'm sick of losing all my texts from it randomly dying. So we bought windows phones, I really didn't care what I got so long as I could browse the net for hours, it wasn't an Iphone (shudder) and could get it in pink (didn't come in pink but Matt bought me a lurid cover as soon as we left the shop). htc7 mozart? It does stuff ... I've spent the last night trying to figure it out since Matt went to a gamer nerd party last night. I suck at technology.
Anyway, I'm done.

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Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
8:18 pm
Mischa came home with me from Victoria, and Serge is pissed, he's getting better though, slowly slowly, he doesn't hiss on sight of her anymore, but will still get agro, and doesn't want to come and hang out in man land anymore. I'm seeing less and les of of him and it's sad. I like Serge, he's a lovely bunting creature. Mischa is lovely and snuggly and cute as, I just wish they'd get along.
We had our ninth anniversary this week and it was a total non event, we're both so damn broke and Matt was working. I saw him for about three minutes that day, work hours are ridiculous, Matt's atw ork when I come home and doesn't come home himself until the early hours of tomorrow. I miss him horribly. But at least I have the kitties to keep me company.
My sister has decided that I am the worst person ever. After the last time we caught up (back in march she came to QLD for a holiday and spent a few hours with me, her husband shooting down every idea I had for things to do. We went 'shopping' (her husband shooting down every idea I had for what they could get me for my birthday), Went and saw a movie their choice, didn't listen to me when I said I'd heard nothing good about the movie. And when they dropped me off home, they couldn't wait to get out and leave. I told my other sister that I thought Meg and her husband were really rude, she told meg, and meg responded to me saying she was 'sick of this kinda shit, I'm done'
So I haven't spoken to her since before I went to VIC, She's forgiven the rest of the family for less, and I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen and still won't get back to me. How useless.
I haven't got the brain capacity to write right now.

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Saturday, May 7th, 2011
6:17 pm
Going down to VIC at the end of this month and picking up my new furry bundle of joy to add to my clan, she is small, and black, and has the biggest eyes you've ever seen, quite a sooky looking creature too, I hope she gets along with Serge.
Weight lose has panned out, I started an eating plan, and went well on it for a little while, but that last week has sort of melted into a potato and chocolate covered mess. oh well, start again, when I get back from VIC, no point in sticking to a diet when I'm not dictating what I'll eat, I'll still be eating OK for the first half of my days until then, it all sort of goes to shit when dinner comes around.
Things are going to be pretty messy at work this week, very long story, but the girl who made me cry back in august is coming back after three months of stress leave and will be plonked right next to me. FML.
The boy is no longer working at the bar which may well be the greatest thing that has happened this year. We have weekends together agaiun which is really nice. He's out watching rugby with a mate tonight, but it's so nice to sleep in with him and snuggle on the couch without the weight of just coming home from work looming over us.
I'm so damn tired.

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Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
4:27 pm
I have to stop letting myself get caught up with the what ifs of life, it'll just crush me in the end.

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Friday, March 18th, 2011
9:17 pm
So in five weeks I've lost 4 kg, and an inch from my bust, waist and hip each. Muscle weighs more then fat right? My biceps have returned, and the jiggle undernieth them is getting less jiggly, huzzah! Progress! Controlling what I eat is actually making a difference finally.
Today also marks three weeks of no buying clothes, I can do it, I don't really have any financial gain to show for it, but I'm guessing that money has gone swiftly into the pocket of my trainer, le sigh, What I pay to get out of bed at 6:30 in the morning, to get into town for a half hour worth of bike use and another half hour of beinf coerced into pushups, weigh lifting, boxing and stretching, with a nice 2 minute shoulder rub at the end lol.
I can still feel the differences though, I'm more awake, I've stopped craving sugar as much, I got through three days of harsh sugar withdrawl headaches. The idea of a triple cheeseburger with bacon mentioned by a co worker made my skin crawl... actually just now my mouth kind of watered, But that's only because I admittedly haven't eaten much today, sick at home with a head full of snot. Finished off a book I've been churning through for the last few weeks.
Life is humming along without much excitement but it's there, I only realised the other day that I am indeed 24 now, it didn't actually dawn on me that my birthday meant I had turned a year older, at the time it was just a good chance to catch up with family and friends.

This is going to be my reward at the end, 22 or 24 inch reduced waist, http://www.whatkatiedid.com/public/product.php?fes_prd_id=700 of course, provided they still damn well have some left!

I'm going to get sick of not being able to buy clothes soon, but what's the point when I don't know when or if they'll fit me? I want to buy smaller, because they'll hopefully fit me in a month or so, and it's not a big enough incentive for me to keep up with everything ...

rant rant rant.

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Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
7:03 pm
Stolen from Ashling

Put this list in order that they happened in your life:

Get married
Buy a house
Get Pregnant
Have baby #1
Have baby #2
Have baby #3
Have baby #4
Graduate college
Graduate high school
Meet significant other
Meet who you hoped was your significant other but wasn't
Move out of parent's house for good
Start college
Become gainfully employed
Buy a car
Get drunk for the first time
Get a cell phone
Get divorced

Get drunk for the first time -1998 Yeah, I was an early starter, it was at my best friend's dad's wedding, I pashed her new step brother, also my first kiss.

Meet significant other - 2002, Still with the bugger. ninth aniversary this year, and there's actually very few people I'm still in contact with that I knew before him.

Get a cell phone - 2003 Christmas present from the olds, before I started senior secondary, left it on a bus three months later, lol.

Move out of parent's house for good - 2005, moved out the same state too.

Graduate high school - 2005, How I loathed that school.

Start college - 2007, I reckon my three years of Fashion counts as college.

Graduate college - 2009, close enough

Buy a car - 2010, Still have never driven it.

Become gainfully employed - 2010, ah, governmen, I love you and your permanant jobs.

Get Pregnant - 2010, kinda stalled.

To do:

Get married - I'm thinking Autumn 2013

Buy a house - The saving has started, slowly. Probably 2013/2014

Have baby #1 - Leaving that up to fate

Have baby #2 - ditto

Have baby #3 - Only if I haven't had a girl yet.

Have baby #4 - Please no, I would like to remain continent.

Meet who you hoped was your significant other but wasn't - I'm sure I thought all my middle school boyfriends were the one, but they were all kinda douchy.

Get divorced - Prefer not to if I can avoid it.

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Saturday, March 12th, 2011
2:38 pm
I never thought I'd say this, but I hate weekends.

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Sunday, March 6th, 2011
11:31 am - Just let me rant, I don't have anyone I can talk to that doesn't have an opinion on this already.
Just once... can you not drink when I ask you not to, just once.

I don't know where we're going, I don't know what's going to happen, I feel like we're just meandering in our rut because we're confortable, and there's still a strong friendship there, and the love of not wanting to hurt each other.
I'm tired of crying, I'm over being upset. I don't want this rut anymore, I've tried to change, I've asked you to change, yes there's progress but it's happening so slowly it's still being overshadowed by problems.
What is so hard in your life that you need to drink yourself stupid so often?
I'm tired of waking up every weekend to this stale, acidic booze breathe smell. It ruins my mornings. and I can't fall back asleep with your ragged drunken snores.
Yes, I snore too, but you fall asleep before I do.
In the past few months you have woken up on a train miles away with a puddle of vomit at your feet and your book sitting in it, passed out in the running shower for three hours, been so disagreeable with bouncers that one almost broke your knee, and blackout made out with a co worker.
When are you going to do something so bad that it makes you want to stop? What is it going to take? Do I have to do something? .... Is it me?
Everytime I bring it up there's almost always something you throw back in my face about it, I can't think of any right now because I know I block it out. I'm not trying to argue, I just want you to see how much this is hurting me. I don't want to attack you, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I feel like I'm given no other choice, I can't think of anything else to do.

My mother is an alchoholic, I love her, dearly. But it's very hard to get her when she isn't drunk in the evening. She wants to talk about things that are beyond uncomfortable, and she tries to prise you open and get you to open up to her, things from deep in my past I don't even want her to know, my depression, Ben's issues, she tells me things that completely alter my perception of my family. She gets very offended when I don't want to. I can remember when I was a teenager living with her, she was so drunk that she'd just sit in the corner of the loungeroom with plumes of smoke rising up from her cigarette and this glazed over stare, and this faint little smile on her face. It was creepy. I can tell her things, and she won't have any recollection of them, important things, she gets so drunk that they just don't sink in. It's painful to watch, As much as I don't want to, I think she'll be gone long before her time.

I don't want to see this again in another person, I do not want to live with it again.

I can't be the only one feeling the strain this is putting on our relationship. Do you want to help me make this work or not?

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Saturday, March 5th, 2011
1:38 pm
Enjoy my wish list kids, Birthday is coming and I want to put this all down, not really so that people will buy it for me, but so I know where I do want my money to go.

-Actually, if there is one thing I want for a present, it's Pandora or Thomas sabo charms, I want a charm that represents every important person to me in my life, I have the bracelets, and four pandora's now, the heart with a keychain, the dragon, the owl and the sparrow.

-I would utterly love the 18" one http://www.thecharactercardco.forlinux.co.uk/simons_cat/simon-s-cat-cushion-mascot-1071-0.html , I just love my slowly growing collection of strange cushions in my lounge.

-http://www.thecharactercardco.forlinux.co.uk/simons_cat/simon-s-cat-magnets-1105-0.html Just because.

-I still really need a somewhat decent TV set for my lounge, with the set top box built in ... that shall come after I pay off my cards.. one day.

-Dining table and chairs, and a buffet, get all matt's shit out of the dining room and finally make it mine.

-A nice big canvas from Typo, there's a few I want, and they have none on the website at the moment, I'd love one of the giant cityscapes for the wall in my lounge, and a few smaller ones that match for the main bedroom.

-Bike pump. I have been diagnosed with 'plantar faciitus' it licks balls, before being diagnosed I used to be in tears with how much it hurt to just walk for ten minutes, it's been like this for about a fortnight, I can walk now, still hurts but it's much better, but I'm not willing to try to run, so ... out will come my bike! and it needs some TLC.

-Gardening tools. I want little hand held tools, a little spade, a pair of cute gloves, and a rose head watering can .. the girlier the better. http://www.cathkidston.co.uk/c-124-gardening.aspx

-Raised Garden Bed. We will need to ask the real estate people if this is OK, but then we also want to stay living here for a few years yet, do not want to tell them quite that much in case they hike the rent on us... mind you, we're currently totally off contract atm ... I don't feel safe like that.

-Matching bedroom suite. I am happy to keep the beds we have, but the drawers, the bedsides, all completly missmatch in this house ... even if the bedside tables matched?

-XBox kinect, for my lounge of course, I need some form of disk player of my own, already have the XBox.

-Egg cups. I have started eating eggs, often, good snack for trying to lose my ass. Have no egg cups so I normally cut a section of egg carton to hold them up while I dip toast in them.

I need to clean up the house, Meg and Wog are coming to stay next weekend, and I don't particularly want the house to look like a bomb has hit it, and I must say it does, oh god, I need to do the washing, clean the kitchen, tidy up the lounges and vacuum them .. pretty much almost an inspection worthy clean all over again .. but I'm sure Meg and Wog won't mind the grease spattered oven and a little bit of scum in the shower...
I'm having a birthday celebration tomorrow with a little bunch of friends, and another one on monday evening with Matt's family, and then possibly a night on the town soon too, we are busy nowdays, I was supposed to go to the horse races today as well, but my foot hurts, I bought orthopedic inserts thursday, and they've helped remarkably, but now my calves ache from being used differently.
Bought Serge a new cat toy, he managed the drag and play with it over to the farthest place of the house overnight, I think he likes it.
I've made a promise to myself not to buy any clothing for a month, so far we're through one week, admittedly I did buy socks, sports socks.

Alright, off to clean I suppose

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Sunday, February 20th, 2011
12:00 pm
After finally getting off my ass and doing something good for myself a fortnight ago I am noticing difference,s little for now, but more then one and I feel better for it. When it comes to this sort of thing I need as much encouragement as I can get. and peering into the mirror in my underwear is starting to reveal some good things, my face is less sallow, it looks like the blood is flowing better all over me, as my cellulite is fading, my tummy is flatter and my arms are becoming more defined.

It's another hot sticky day in brisbane, with the mercury up to around 35 later today I can only imagine what it actually feels like. ugh, euw.. hooooot. Do not want to do anything. But have lots ot do.

Getting back to my previous subject, I have my first personal training session tomorrow morning, and I'm already wishing I didn't put myself down for 8 am, It's going to be fecking hot then too.
But better then it will be an hour later I suppose, tonight will be spent in the spare room, with the air con blaring. I don't see another way of doing it.

I am completely and utterly broke, but I'm doing things to rectify it. I may well have to ban myself from those Cudo websites though. Yes, they are good deals, but christ, I'm buying stuff I wouldn't normally go for aren't I?

I've started gardening on top of running as another way to start habits that are better for me then spending hours in front of my computer. and have only killed one thing so far, I'm finding it interesting to watch how things wither and almost die in the hot sun but then when I water them at 6 in the evening, I come out again later in a few hours and they are flourishing again. that's only the lettuce, everything else is doing quite nicely.

It's my birthday in a few weeks, almost a fortnight to the day\. I'll be in my mid 20's *cries*
I coulcn't have guessed where I'd be today this time last year. I was sleeping alone most night's at my 'mother in law's', Working maybe 3 days a week, and couldn't really say I had many female friends. Thsi is slowly changing, I do have a closish friend at work, I get along great with 95% of my team, and a group of the boy's current and former co workers have taken me under their wing, stood by me during the recent fiasco, as I've grown closet to them and learnt to care for them as they seem to give more of a damn about me and what I'm up to then my family does, seems if I'm not popping out babies the family just doesn't have the time.
Not Meg though, she's pretty damn good.

Either way, I'm getting over the sweag that is dripping down my legs atm, I'm going to go find soemthing less hot to sit. The computer will not come with me.

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12:23 am
Should've gone out tonight, completely restless and feel like I have hours of energy to spend.

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Sunday, February 6th, 2011
11:32 am
Well to say it's been a long three months would not be a lie, a lot has happened,dot points are easier on everyone.

-I had a miscarry in early december, about 7/8 weeks along, and honestly it did kinda crush me, It had been around for long enough that I was getting used to the idea and even get excited, but not to be this time.
-My brother had twins, or at least his wife did, a girl and a boy, Charlotte and Sebastian (HUGE name improvement on my first niece) andf they are being run ragged, I suspect they are now closer resembling zombies then people nowdays.
-We had our six month inspection and passed no worries, commented on the lawn and the oven but myeh, the oven will take an hour someday when i can be bothered and the lawn was cut like the next business day.
-My debts are horrendous after my christmas sales shopping spree... oh dear god. But still getting things paid off, and affording to live nicely, just won't have my debts paid off in any record time, takes me about a month to pay off a grand on the cards, but that doesn't include my furniture loans.
-Work is work, keeps me busy, earns me money. I'm starting to put my hand up for extra credit shit though, I'll admit, I do have some rather lazy afternoons that could do with some extra workload, but don't let me say that out loud in the office or I'll get bombarded.
-I still keep buying stuff I don't need.
I'm still putting on weight. I am a chubby bunny atm, but have started walking and jogging a circuit around the place, now to just keep it up, but that brings me to the next point.
-IT IS FUCKING HOT. The temp hasn't gone below 24 at night in weeks, during the days it gets to over 30, doesn't sounds that bad, however in Brisbane you really need to take the 'feels like' temp into account, which bums it up to about 28 at night, and 38 during the day. fuck. off. No repreive in site for days yet.
-I survived the floods, and it made for an interesting week to say the least, I was watching the river rise frim my office and the bridge nearby all morning, until my boss told me to skedaddle at around midday. The news coverage was overwehlming, but I had no internet aat home so I was happy to watch it, the creek at the end of my street (all of four houses away) steadily rose, but for every metre it cam up to us, it went out about 10 on the other side, houses closeby were flooded, but it missed us. The biggest risk was being cut off, power, water, roads, but in the end we were fine, the boy ended up banning me from watching the news, and I'll admit I diod go a little stupid but only because I had every man and his dog I knew calling to see if I was OK! When that happens, you do get the tendancy to ask yourself 'shit ... am I in trouble?'
-I did to on my usual trip to VIC over summer, and it was lovely down there, even cold on certain days, the 40 new years day was not nice, but livable in my mohter's farm house, now equipped with air con. All in all, it was a slightly disappointing trip even with the fact that there none of the usual family blow ups.

For now, I am going to go do something that doesn't involve a hot laptop on my lap ....

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Friday, October 29th, 2010
11:14 pm - This could be a rather self absorbed post.
I got my first bullet bra today. And it's freaking awesome.
It's not the most gorgeous thing ever, I'd even go so far as to say it's kinda gaudy but what it does to my boobs and how clothing looks over the top, divide and conquer my dears, I am impressed.

I haven't had a thrilling october, just another month closer to the end of the year, work, home, computer, eat, sleep, wake up and start again. I've been researching a lot about make up and vintage clothing, which is where the bullet bra came up from, I think I kind of know what I'm doing when I weild a make up brush now, and my red lipstick gets compliments... and I'd estimate about ten times my usual amount of attention from men.

I've put on weight and it's at a stage where I can notice it, but I also feel it because i'm constantly eating, I've skipped dinner after a large lunch, and feel somewhat thinner just for the lack of food in my tummy, as opposed to the full little pot I usually have.

Serge is currently trying to climb onto my chest to snuggle up ... it's always when i have my laptop that he does this, couldn't give a shit when I'm just lounging or sleeping lol.

The boy is up for a mangerial position at work, the 2IC has quit on good terms, another manager will leave soon due to finishing uni and getting a real job, and Mel is Pregnant so she won't be much help in a few months either ... The only thing that stands in his way really is one of the owners who he has a love hate relationship with, love because he is a damn good worker, and hate because he can be an arrogant shit (the boy I'm saying ... the owner isn't a good worker at all but is an arrogant shit too) case of egos clashing, but the guy who owns the nation wide chain, said last week that matt is the best worker the place has. This stands him in geed steading for the position ... So I hope. I'd probably see him the same amount but we'd be a lot more financially secure.

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Monday, October 11th, 2010
1:05 pm
Ah, and the weddings are over for the year. 5 down, zero to go, oh god... what a long year. I'm starting to wrap it up already in October. but I would like to close this page off and be happy with it.
Matt was Best man, and had on a v. Paul McDermott type outfit, and I loved every second of it. The party ended at about 10 unfortunately, a bit early but we somehow got home, and stayed up longer drinking and watching kick ass, don't really see what the fuss is about, an 11 year old swears heavily, the story didn't really need telling, no really funny bits. and it has that fat actor who I don't like terribly much.

Wedding was good though, dispite the rain, the ceremonies were out of the way before the rain really hit, and my god did it rain, I was a drowned rat by the end of the night, my arms hurt from dancing, and I'm really still to tired to be awake right now.

Entry fail.

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Friday, October 8th, 2010
7:42 pm
Well if a guy who struck up a conversation with me in a store, then chases me down the block and asks me to dinner while we're in town ... on a rainy Friday night after I've had a hard day at work.
I don't make much sense but that was very disarming, I can't be half bad can I?

I found out today about a guy who adored me at one stage, he's getting married. It wasn't quite a punch in the face but still shook me a little.

Am I a terrible girlfriend for still having what if moments? I'm heading home with a bottle of liquor and no one warm to curl up to, it's like being married during the week and alone on the weekends. I'm getting over it.

So, do I become a social butterfly during the weekend to distract myself?

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Sunday, September 26th, 2010
1:33 pm
Well that was a successful entry was it not?
Well that failed and so did the cupcakes, they were rather solid really ... someone give me a recipe for cupcakes from scratch that doesn't end up dense? Ash, I'm looking at your dear.
We also had the realisation that we were at home on a Friday night, talking about how awesome tupperware is. We truely are brilliant specimens.

Another one of Matt's co-workers is pregnant, they already have a little boy who is in his terrible twos but this one is planned, and the first is that kind of accident you can't blame them for. On the pill and still wound up pregnant. Didn't even know for three months.
We're slowly surrounding ourselves in very settled in couples, which now I think on it is probably why Matt bothers to seek the company of friends who are largely single to spend his spare time with. Yeah I can easily come between him and Jimmy hanging out, but I don't because it means I get to hang out with Jessie who is a great comrade in my battle of settling down. But if I even try to suggest telling Xavier, (a friend who is somewhat smelly, incredibly odd and very slutty) not to come around for just one bloody week, it's the worst thing in the world.
Going back to the coupled up friends for a moment, Mel, who is pregnant, is the bridesmaid of Jessie, who is desperately trying to get pregnant too. We all got a text from her the other day telling us excitedly that she's late, but the test has come back negative. What kind of spot does that put Mel in? I don't think she's told Jessie yet, but I'm sure I might've mentioned previously that Jessie wanted me to try and get pregnant with her. Apart from financial and stability issues, I couldn't have agreed anyway. I'd feel horrid if I had no trouble getting knocked up while she waited for months and months for two little lines.
Jessie is also getting married in two weeks as well, and christ that's come up quickly, fingers crossed it's the last wedding of the year, and that's the one tha Matt is best man for, I need a haircut, Matt does too but I like his hair the way it is now, kinda floompy.
It feels a little strange to realise how I am growing up, School is years behind me now and I get to contend with things like income that was a ludicris amount when I was 18 and what curtains I want to put up in the lounge room .. mostly it's for the best, I had very few enjoyable days in my school years. It's also quite nice that I didn't have to combine school days with babies either, they're coming a nice amount of years down the track. I was on Facebook the other day and saw that one of my old best friends just popped out her fourth, she is 24. When I was friends with her she was 'infertile' with endometriosis. Hit that one out of the ballpark didn't you doctors?
I am sort of scared though, that because I'm not trying to have a baby with the rest of them that I'll get left behind in the end. I'm not where I'd like to be financially to start a family, I'd rather be a home owner and not a renter, I'd like to travel first. there's no refunding a baby. The boy just ... seems to be stalling. What can I do or say to him to make him want to get a real job or education? I love him, but it's frustrating.

Housework is calling me, We have two new couches arriving tomorrow and a lounge room that needs to be cleared so we have space for them.

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Saturday, September 25th, 2010
9:36 pm
Well fancy that, I've spent most of the last week throwing up everything. However it was a few days after I cooked the roast and most of Matt's co-workers havebeen ill this week too, so it's not my horrid cooking, in fact, I could really go for some baking ..... yeah I got a new cook book this week, Imma go try out some stuff.

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